Obama vs. Superman

One of my favorite superheroes is Superman and last year on a trip down to Memphis, Tennessee I just had to swing by Metropolis, Illinois.  I had heard about how they celebrate Superman there and I just had to reroute the family “Truckster” just like Clark Griswold.  I did a quick search on the internet for Metropolis just to find out what was in store for us and I was instantly hit with a picture of Obama posing in front of the huge Superman statue they have in Metropolis.  Suddenly my enthusiasm dwindled for this little stop off but, my love for Superman outweighed my dislike for Obama and we went anyway.   The recent events of Superman renouncing his US Citizenship have me thinking about Obama and Superman again.

Let’s take a look at just the opening sequence of Superman.

Kellogg’s, 'The Greatest Name in Cereals', presents: The Adventures of Superman.

 Faster than a speeding bullet! More powerful than a locomotive! Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound!

"Look! Up in the sky!"

 "It's a bird!"

 "It's a plane!"

 "It's Superman!"

... Yes, it's Superman ... strange visitor from another planet, who came to Earth with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men! Superman ... who can change the course of mighty rivers, bend steel in his bare hands, and who, disguised as Clark Kent, mild-mannered reporter for a great metropolitan newspaper, fights a never-ending battle for truth, justice, and the American way! And now, another exciting episode, in The Adventures of Superman!

And now my opening for Obama man:

"GE, the greatest name in goofy looking light bulbs presents: The ADVENTURES OF OBAMA-MAN!”

FASTER than an Air Force One Flyover!

More POWERFUL than a wasted Government dollar on another railroad!

Able to LEAP a foreclosed house in a single bound!

"Look! Up in the sky!"

 "It's a bird!"

 "It's a plane!"

 It's Obama thinking he’s SUPERMAN!

Yes, it's OBAMAMAN, strange visitor from Kenya or Hawaii depending on what you believe
who came to America with Green-powers and Teleprompter abilities
FAR beyond those of an ignorant voter!

OBAMAMAN!  Who can Change drilling in the Gulf, bend the Auto Industry with one stroke of his pen;

And who, disguised himself as Barry, Moderate Democrat for all the liberal newspapers,

Speaks a never-ending campaign of HOPE, CHANGE and the Liberal way

And now the same old tired rhetoric of OBAMAMAN!!!

Now I guess Superman was a birther since he denounced his citizenship to be more like OBAMAMAN.  Unfortunately, all it accomplished was alert us to the real status of Superman.  First Superman is an illegal alien since he is from Krypton; I bet the Men in Black would like to speak with him.  He came to earth in a meteor that crashed in Metropolis and his parents found him and raised him.  Okay Superman or Clark Kent whatever your name is!  First you cannot renounce citizenship you never had!  How do I know Superman is not a U.S. Citizen?  He has no birth certificate!  Show us the birth certificate Mr. Superman!!!!!

Take it down already!

Here we are in late April and as I leave for my commute, I’m still seeing campaign signs in yards.  Really people, I can’t stand the signs before the election but more than a month after it’s time to take it down.  I think it’s about time we find a way to end all of this yard sign insanity.

I think we should tax the politicians for yard signs.  Politicians seem to want to tax us on all of our bad habits such as smoking and drinking so why is it not fair that we tax them back on one of their bad habits.   If you think about it the political yard sign is just as nasty of a habit as smoking, it pollutes the environment and annoys people who don’t do it.  The other nasty habit of politicians would be the BS tax but that would put them all out of business. Hmmm not a bad idea, I’ll have to think about that one also.

Now maybe to avoid the sign tax politicians could share their signs with charities.  We could still tax them and force them to share their signs with other annoying signs around the neighborhood like those found on utility poles.  We Buy Ugly Houses signs combined with Vote for Obama seems like an appropriate match.  If Obama was so proud of his cash for clunkers program then he should have no problem putting his logo on junk cars that he could later clean up.

In my neighborhood Ron Paul signs seem to hit every utility pole I passed.  I’m not sure I would know if Ron Paul was running if it wasn’t for this kind of ad blitz.  I don’t agree with Ron Paul supporters tacking his sign upon every utility pole but it does seem better then where I’ve seen other campaign signs.  If you’re going to run for office then posting your campaign sign on an abandon house especially if you are the incumbent, isn’t the best idea.  It just screams wow, look how I’ve screwed up your neighborhood.

Although I do fly my “Don’t tread on me” flag I refuse to put any campaign sign in my yard or car.  Let’s be honest there are a lot of nut jobs out there and I don’t want any of them around my car or house. The same people who put these ridiculous yard signs up are the same ones who complain about my Christmas decorations being up too long.  Have they never heard of Christmas in July?  I had to laugh at the Obama supporters who got upset about their yard sign being stolen; I think the thieves were only trying to spread the sign wealth.  

Can we also quit having groups of people claiming a candidate?  I think this practice has just gotten plain silly and has me wanting to come up with some outrageous signs of my own for the next election cycle but I think these may already be hard to top.

The other consequence of the political sign battle is those politicians whose names just bring a chuckle when you see their campaign sign.  

And the most expensive in the US

The Donald

When the rumors started to get out about a possible Donald Trump run for president, I just laughed and thought it was another publicity stunt and I’m still not convinced that it’s not.  I always wonder why someone would want to be president.  Why would Donald Trump give up the life he has now?  Why would Trump give up Trump Tower for the tiny White House?  More importantly why would I vote for Trump?  Well outside of the obvious that I would vote for the grapefruit sitting on the desk next to me over Obama, it could be comedy gold.

I recently had a friend post about how much he hates the “We’re taking our country back” signs at the Tea Party rallies.  He didn’t come out and say it but I’m sure he was angling towards calling them racist; I’m waiting to be called a racist for the grapefruit comment.  Now if Donald runs for president, we could use the taking the country back and it’s not about race but the hair.  The founding fathers all had bad hair, so why shouldn’t a president to lead us back to prosperity.  Maybe this has been our problem all these years we keep electing president with decent hair.

I would love to see The Donald move his bad hair into the White House.  There has often been talk about renting out the Lincoln bedroom and now with Obama jetting all over why not rent out the whole White House.  I think Trump is just the one to actually start renting out rooms in the White House.  How many hotels does he own?  I think he knows a thing or two about renting rooms.  I would love to see the Priceline commercials.  The White House needs to fill rooms they give us a huge discount and we pass the savings along to you.  Not to mention it would be great to see William Shatner standing there with Trump selling rooms.  Hey why not just have Shatner as the VP?

Every good campaign has a great campaign slogan.  Obama had Hope and Change, other slogans were I Like Ike, Tippecanoe and Tyler Too and Compassionate Conservatism, whatever that means.  Now the obvious choice for Trump would be You’re Fired and I’m all for that.  Nothing I would love to see more than a bunch of the politicians in Washington hearing that phrase.  I think the phrase that would best help Donald get elected is Trump 2012 Out with the Old in with “The Do”.

Once we get “The Do” elected then the true fun begins.  First he could fire all the Czars and replace them with Apprentices.  Obviously he would have a reality show to select them all.  Why not have a celebrity Czar Apprentice; just think of the talent he could find. 

Meatloaf I would do anything for love but I can’t vote for that Czar.

Jose Conseco as the No it’s not a drug it’s a supplement czar.

Bret Michaels could be the Rock of love or the Bandana’s are cool czar.

Sinbad could be the Middle East czar Wait is that a racist grapefruit again?

Sharon Osborne as the Prince of F@#$N’ Darkness Czar

Finally he could get Rod Blagojevich as This Thing is F@#$N’ Golden Czar, he’ll get along great with SHARON!