Bye, Bye Barney

I know most of you won’t miss Barney Frank one bit when he leaves office but I hate to say it, I just might.  Yeah America probably will be in a better place when he steps down but what about the comedy?  Frank was a soft target, HA!  See how easy it is to make a joke about a guy with the last name of Frank.  We already lost Wiener, now Frank.  It’s kind of like losing Abbott and Costello, Sonny and Cher, Fred and Barney, Fannie and Freddie…Oh wait, Barney almost took care of that last one himself.

Barney did a great job of taking away some of that “Coolness”, the Democrats seem to have.  Where Obama at times seems like this cool guy that you could play basketball with you would look over and there would be creepy Uncle Barney looking at you in that strange way.  Should I also put the image in your head of creepy Uncle Barney watching you play ball with that creepy look and slowly eating a hot dog?  You probably have that little vomit in the back of your throat feeling right now.  See aren’t you going to miss that?

I was also very upset since both Weiner and Frank are out because, now the landmark legislation they were both working on was just going to shrivel up.  Barney and Anthony were working on legislation that would regulate the whole 10 hotdogs and 8 buns nightmare that has haunted the American people for decades now.  Now the Weiner, Frank Bun Bill has been ripped off the congressional table by those dogs and swallowed whole; leaving the American people to choke on their mess.

Sure Barney had a problem with touching Freddie’s Fannie but isn’t crashing the economy worth the comedy we get from B. Frank?  Wasn’t it all really just Bush’s fault anyway?  You simply can’t blame Barney he’s a gay democrat and I think that trumps the race card and if you don’t believe that, you must be a homophobe!  Sorry; I need a moment, I’m kind of freaked out that my autocorrect had no problem with the word homophobe.  How and why does my computer know the word homophobe?

I’m over the homophobe thing now and onto my concern about what will Barney do now.  When I first heard the news of his retirement I thought “Oh good, Barney got the head coaching job at Penn State.” Of course, we all know that silly Barney would be the tight end coach.  Sorry Barney is not heading to Penn State or Syracuse.  I hope Barney finds himself in jail one day for what he has done but I’m not sure if he would find that as a terrible punishment, or just a vacation resort.  Barney should find himself in Club Gitmo!

Now for a bit of a Photoshop tribute to Barney, were gonna’ miss ya big guy.  No not really!    

Bromance

I’m surprised that neither the mainstream media nor even the not so mainstream media has picked up on this story.  I’m sure it’s just a mere oversight, they’ve probably been too busy covering some gold digger in Chicago and guys in a shower at the Penn.  (Sorry is the Penn State joke too soon?) You could probably surf the internet for hours and not find a single story.  If the media and the blogs started to take notice, America could benefit from the media getting on this story ASAP.

Obama and French President Nicolas Sarkozy are having a HUGE Bromance.  Oh so you’re not sure what a Bromance is?  Bromance: Describes the complicated love and affection shared by two straight males.  That’s all I kept seeing in the footage from the G8, G6, G12, G482 One of those G conferences where a bunch of guys get together for photo ops and a bunch of protestors also get together for a different kind of photo op.

I think Obama and Sarkozy are the only two world leaders who attend these useless meetings and they just hire a bunch of guys to play the part of the other leaders for the photo ops.  Once the extras from the photo ops go home, Sarkozy and Obama hang out in the hotel suite telling each other how great the other one is.  I can just see them hanging in the hotel room drinking beer and laughing about Obama’s Nobel Peace prize.

The Sarkozy-Obama bromance has only turned up trouble for the guys.  Like the photo of Obama turning around to glance at a girls backside.  I often feel like I’m watching an episode of Bosom Buddies.  Unfortunately, I don’t think either one of these guys will go on to have the career of Tom Hanks but more like Peter Scolari.  Then to top it off, the whole Bad Bosom Buddies episode Sarkozy and Obama just like Leslie Nielson fell for the open mic trick and talked like real housewives of Jersey about Netanyahu.  Sorry, but if there was a cage match between Netanyahu, Obama and Sarkozy, my money would be on Netanyahu.

Now normally, I wouldn’t care if the President wants to have a Bromance with another world leader but this is Sarkozy, the President of France.  France?  I mean if you want to look strong don’t hang with the short guy from France?  Let’s be honest, Sarah Palin is tougher than Sarkozy. I know Obama couldn’t have a bromance with her but it would look better.  How about Putin for a bromance?  Putin has got the whole cowboy ride with my shirt off and hunt a dangerous animal thing down.  I think America would look better if Obama was pictured hunting with Palin and Putin.

I’m reminded of a story that I heard George Bush tell once where he invited Putin to his ranch in Crawford.  He did this, explaining the meetings at the ranch where better than the G8 meetings, since you could really get to know someone.  Bush asked if he wanted to meet his dog. When Barney came around the corner, Putin did not look impressed and Bush said he kind of dissed Barney.  A year later, Bush was in Russia visiting Putin when Putin asked if he would like to meet his dog.  With a whistle, a huge massive dog came running around the corner and Putin leaned over to Bush and said “Bigger, Stronger, Faster!”  Bush went back and explained this story to an aide who then told the President, be happy he only showed you his dog.   

I can only imagine the lessons Obama is learning from Shorty Sarkozy.  Maybe this is why we fought without really fighting in Libya.  I’m just worried that Sarkozy is giving him lessons in the art of surrender.  Obama has already got the submissive bow down; I really don’t want to see him learn how to surrender with both hands in the air it seems like he has already gotten half of it down.  

I’m truly worried about Chicago next spring as Sarkozy and Obama continue their bromance.  I have often wondered why cities would host one of these useless G summits when all we see is footage of the bromance followed by footage of trust fund kids tearing up the city because mommy and daddy wouldn’t buy them a Porsche.  Nothing I would love more than to see an officer use their pepper spray or some tear gas on these punks!

So please can we end this useless G-bromance and save Chicago from the next great fire.  If Obama and Sarkozy want to continue their bromance, I say let them be but let’s leave the other world leaders and the rioting brats at home.  Let the two of them get a nice ski resort in France and leave the rest of us out of it!

OWS

  

As many of you know, I have had the pleasure of hanging out with the Occupy Wall Street folk.  I have to admit, I was a bit shocked at how much we had in common.  Turns out that OWS does not like the bank bailouts; Funny neither did most of the Tea Party.  My theory is that the members of OWS have been stoned for the past few years after the bailout and are just now sobering up because mom and dad no longer have extra cash to give to junior.  Maybe next we’ll have to bailout the suburban drug dealers since junior won’t be able to get his allowance from daddy and buy drugs. 

I’m thinking maybe the Occupy’s could take a few lessons from the Tea Party.  For example and maybe the biggest tip is to set a start and end time.  As of right now Occupy has no way out and will be sleeping on the street forever.  You have to worry about people that want to sleep on a city street; I don’t think even the homeless want to be there.  The other lesson OWS could learn is to have a clear message, I know this is difficult for potheads coming down from a high.  Remember, this is the same high that made them not only miss TARP but also got Obama elected.  The Tea Party was very clear, less spending and smaller government or we vote you out.  Here is my best idea of a list of demands from OWS.

1.       Forgive all student loans

2.       Houses for everyone

3.       End global warming

4.       Cash for everyone

5.       Unions everywhere

6.       Plastic drums for everyone

7.       Starbucks vente Latte’s

8.       Legalized drugs (because sometime Starbucks just isn’t enough)

9.        Memorial Steve Jobs I-phones for all (The Revolution must be tweeted)

10.   Gladly pay you Tuesday for a cheeseburger today

I do love the fact that these people are out protesting capitalism while drinking their Starbucks, tweeting on their I phone while wearing a Guy Fawkes mask that was featured in a Warner Brothers movie and yes, Warner Brothers is getting a cut.  Not to mention that they sit and listen to Michael Moore who is usually trying to sell his latest book or movie that he shot with a non union crew.

Although the Tea Party and OWS may have similar ideas they are actually miles apart.  I’m reminded of the old anti-drug commercial, “This is your brain, and this is your brain on drugs.” This is the Tea Party this is the Tea Party on Drugs.

A little OWS photo fun

This just in!!!!!!

 According to reports a large amount of paper was dumped on occupiers in Chicago.  The papers dumped on the occupiers was actually McDonald's applications.  Good for you CME Traders!!!

9-9-9 = 6-6-6 = KKK = ???

Maybe I’m just going through different stages, at first I just laughed it off then I got mad about it and then I embraced it to try and make me stronger.  Now I think I’m entering a new stage of my Liberal Left tag of RACIST.  I’m worried I might be.  I guess if you call someone a racist enough they will begin to believe it themselves.  Now I’m not quite ready to go out and get fitted for my KKK outfit just yet but with such great minds as Jeanine Garafalo, Morgan Freeman and Harry Belafonte who not only knows how to belt out a song about bananas but also apparently is an expert in race relations. I guess I need to re evaluate my racism.

Could the only reason I love Herman Cain is because he’s black?  I’ve read his book, heard him speak at rally’s, looked up his resume and agree with a majority of what he says at the debates or is it all just the color of his skin?  Is it just me or the entire Tea Party?  What if Herman Cain himself is a racist?  I need to look into this whole controversy for myself to reveal the truth.

First let’s take Cain’s 9-9-9 plan and if you take the ninth letter of the alphabet it’s the I-I-I plan proving that Cain is only in it for himself.  Now, if you follow Bachman’s advice and turn those nines upside down you get 6-6-6 or applying the alphabet code you get F-F-F or Fool-Fool-Fool an obvious play on Mr. T’s “I pity the fool”  As if this wasn’t enough evidence of racism there is more and maybe the biggest evidence that Cain’s 9-9-9 plan is racist.  If you take the 9 and add it to the 2 party system, you now get 11-11-11 or K-K-K.  Then I started looking at photos of Cain and the Tea Party racism showed right through.  Let’s take a look.

First here is a photo of a white man having coffee with Herman.  Notice Herman doesn’t get a sandwich this is obviously a master and a slave photo.  Also notice how he puts Herman Cain next to a Coca-Cola machine to rub it in his face that his father was a limo driver for Coke and Herman finally left Coke to advance his career.  RACIST!!!!

Now look at this shirt, I know obvious racism.  First two black guys on a “white” T-shirt.  Then it reads a couple of brothers in the White House.  The biggest piece of evidence is the fact that Allen West is facing away from Herman Cain and all of his racism.

This photo printed in “Black” comparing Cain to a hurricane an obvious reference to Katrina and how George Bush hates Black people.  Not to mention that “Rock you like a hurricane” was song by a white band.

Here is a photo of Herman Cain’s campaign bus.  Notice how his picture is towards the back of the bus.  Also not pictured is the white Tea Party driver of the bus who was yelling at Herman to stay at the back of the bus when Herman raised his hands up in disbelief the photo was taken.

Here is a photo of a Tea Party Patriot who is trying to drag his kid away from shaking hands with the token black man of the Tea Party.  RACIST!

Here is a picture of Sarah Palin visibly upset by having to hug the token black man of the Tea Party.  You can also see another white male starting to pray over Sarah for having to hug Herman Cain.  I think he was trying to pray the black out before Sarah blacked out.

I know you can see this racism.  First this photo was taken moments after Cain presented Trump with his birth certificate.  Then not only did they make Herman stand next to a woman (The beautiful blonde) but if you look over Cain’s left shoulder you can see the word BOY.  RACIST!!

Do I even have to tell you on this one?  Cain’s tie wrapped around his neck and over his shoulder almost like he’s chained up.  Then Cain dressed in a white shirt and Bachman wearing a dark jacket.  Racist!  I think they were eating Bachman’s hotter than 666 chicken wings.

Here is a photo of Herman at one of his speaking engagements.  Notice his dressing room in the back with the big black X on it.  RACIST!

Here is the photo of the group that Cain was speaking to on that day.

A picture of the White T-shirts they were selling at Cain’s speaking engagement.

A picture with Jan Brewer moments before she tried to have Herman deported.  Later she called Donald for his help.

An early photo of Rick Perry “Blazing Saddles” to deport Herman Cain.

Later Perry has a flashback and tries to deport Herman once again.

We found this statue outside of Rick Perry’s family hunting lodge.  Rick swears it has been there for years and recently repainted.

A photo from an early republican debate.

History

Truth

I hope you have all taken this in fun, in the words of Herman Cain America needs to learn to take a joke.  I hope to have also pointed out the silliness of the left racist attacks, the biggest problem with this is when racism does rear its ugly head people may have cried wolf one too many times.  I hope one day we can move past all of this and vote for a candidates merits and not their skin color.  Keep smiling, keep laughing and Vote! 

For More fun Watch Steven Crowder  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsUKObvjIFs&feature=feedbul