Obama Ball

The drama surrounding President Obama’s jobs speech and The White House changing the date has kept me smiling for days.  No matter how you look at it, Obama played the fool and had no one to blame but himself.  The Obama comedy show now has to compete with the opening night of the NFL.  My understanding is that the Green Bay affiliate will stay with pre game coverage instead of carrying the Presidents’ speech and who can really blame them.  Let’s be honest, the President will offer no new ideas, just the same old ones over again.  If Obama wants to relate to the American people, he should combine his speech with the pre game show. 

Obama’s speech should start out with him entering the house chamber to pyrotechnics and cheerleaders.  Maybe Barney Frank, Nancy Pelosi and Maxine Waters could dress up as the cheerleaders.  Once Obama hits the podium he should chest bump Biden then stare down Boehner.  Obama could then turn and go into his best John Madden voice.

 All right, here’s what were going to do, or better yet, what I would like to do until Boehner and his team of Republicans block it.  BAM!  I didn’t see that coming.  Next I’ll whap everyone with an end around Congress, straight to the American people, crying that the Republicans are meanies.  Whap!  That didn’t work.   So then I’ll cry foul and throw out the Bush flag again.  What?  No, I said Bush flag not Bush is a ….  Ha, that’s pretty funny but if you want to talk about that, I could tell you about how great I ‘am for passing Don’t ask Don’t tell and hit the military down there…Oh yeah, you want to hear my jobs talk?  Okay, so it’s not the Republicans fault and it’s not Bush’s fault.  That leaves the Tea Party.  Hey, Tea Party, here is my friend Jimmy Hoffa, you know the guy who threatened you guys, the guy whose dad became a bump in Giants Stadium…Oh wait…better sit down, Jimmy.  Michelle has single handedly kept the travel agency a float and I have been keeping my speech writers and teleprompter operators employed.  Hmmm…teleprompter operator sounds like a turdunken, I could go for a turkey leg right now.  That gives me an idea to stimulate the economy.  All of you hard working taxpaying Americans can go out and buy Michelle and me a gift, for all the good we’ve done!  I will put up a list of items appropriate to buy us.  Just a few ideas: Gift cards for burgers are always good; an I-pod filled with my speeches, foreign DVD’s, a book on the 57 states and how to toast the queen for dummies are just the start of my list.  Then BAM!!!! The economy is fixed.  It's good to be King, Um I mean President.

At that point, Obama can head to the locker room while the Black Eyed Peas come out to sing a few songs.  (Not racist by mentioning the Black Eyed Peas just remembering their performance at the Superbowl) After that, they can switch to the movie Heidi.  Oooops, sorry, I meant the Green Bay Packers game.  Unfortunately, we will be stuck with the same boring speech and at the end we will all be thinking the same thing in our best Keith Jackson voice.  WHOA NELLY IT’S A FUMBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!