Caddyshack Earthquake

A major earthquake struck the D.C. area on Tuesday afternoon, striking fear in residents and forcing the evacuation of government buildings, including the White House, Pentagon and Capitol, and shaking homes and structures up and down the East Coast.  President Obama has just confirmed that the DC earthquake occurred on a rare and obscure fault-line, apparently known as "Bush's Fault".  Obama also announced that the Secret Service and Maxine Waters continues an investigation of the quake's suspicious ties to the Tea Party.  Conservatives, however, have proven that it was caused by the founding fathers rolling over in their graves.

Not to worry President Obama was golfing Tuesday as an earthquake rolled across the Eastern Seaboard.  I’m sure that the President and his golfing buddies did exactly what every group of guys golfing at the time would do and launch into Caddyshack lines.  I can see Obama’s putt sitting there at the edge of the cup, just like at the end of Caddyshack when the earthquake hit.

Judge Smails (Obama): "You know, you should play with Dr. Beeper and myself. I mean, he's been club champion for three years running and I'm no slouch myself."
Ty: Don't sell yourself short, Barack. You're a tremendous slouch."

CarlSpackler (Obama): "Cinderella boy. Outta nowhere. A former Acorn worker now about to become the President. It looks like a mirac...

Carl(Obama): "A President, you know, a Commander and Chief, a President, a Pres. So, I tell them I'm a Pres & Jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald ... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one -- big hitter, the Lama -- long, into a 10,000-foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. The ball was lower than my economy.  Do you know what the Lama says? 'Gunga galunga .... gunga, gunga-lagunga.' So we finish the 18th and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, 'Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know?' And he says, 'Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you mess up, at your press conference, your supporters will lose total consciousness and blame Bush.' So I got that going for me, which is nice." 

Al Czervik: "Oh, this is the worst-looking economy I ever saw. When you run an economy like this, I bet you can’t even get a bowl of soup, huh?  Oh, but it looks good on you, Barack."

Carl Spackler (Obama): License to kill economy’s by the government of the United Nations. Man, free to kill the economy at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is the Tea Party. And the Tea party will never quit - ever. They're like the Viet Cong - Tea Cong.

Carl Spackler (Obama): Oh Nancy Pelosi, you're a little monkey woman. Yeah, you're lean, mean, and I bet you're not too far in between are ya. How'd you like to wrap your plastic face around my...

Judge Smails (Obama): Don't you people have jobs?

Spaulding (Obama): I want a Stimulus. No, a bigger stimulus. I want Cash for Clunkers. I want a health care takeover. I want higher taxes
[gets cut off by Judge Smails (the Tea Party)]
Judge Smails (Boehner): You'll get nothing, and like it!

Ty Webb: Remember Danny - Two wrongs don't make a right but three rights make a left.