Gitmo Casino!

I couldn’t help but think what would have happened if they caught Osama?  I’m guessing he would have been brought to Gitmo to await trial.  Ha!  A trial, let’s be honest, there is no way you could give Osama a trial and find him innocent.  All of this has me thinking about Gitmo and my views may surprise many of you.  I think we should close Gitmo; now before you yell and click off the site, hear me out on how we can close Gitmo and reduce the debt.

Gitmo sits on some great property and I’m sure the inmates love it.  They sit there in a cell with a nice ocean breeze blowing in the window, reading their government issue Quran and eating a meal prepared for them by the U.S. Military and paid for by us.  I want to sit down in the tropical paradise having all my needs met.  I think Robin Leach should go to Gitmo and do a story on the Lifestyles of the orange and detained.

Where to move them?  How about Fargo?  I would love to see those guys heading out for prayers when it’s twenty below.  Maybe we should show them how great Americans have it and send them out to shovel the prison yard in their orange jumpsuits.  How about Detroit?  Nobody really wants to move to Detroit these days and large areas of Detroit are abandoned.  We could also let the detainees run around setting off bombs and nobody in Detroit would notice.  We could still have the experience of not only the hardship of shoveling snow but also the hardship of being Detroit Lions fans.

Now that we have the prisoners moved to Fargo or Detroit; what to do with Gitmo?   I took a cruise several years ago and woke up early one morning because our ship was going to be close to Cuba and I might be able to catch a glimpse, sadly, I didn’t get to see Cuba.  With cruise ships constantly passing Cuba by; why not get them to stop at Gitmo?  The U.S. could transform Gitmo from a prison, to a casino.

Cruise ships could dock and tourist could spend the day at the beach or try their luck at the water boarding tables.  Both conservative and Liberals would flock to Gitmo for different reasons, but their money would be just as green and we could pay down the national debt.  The casino could feature waitresses and dealers wearing orange jump suits.  Games could be Dick Cheney Craps, Pelosi Poker, John Kerry Keno, The Bush Black Jack table and of course Rumsfeld’s Gin Rummy.  The Gitmo could serve drinks like a Congress Colada, a Senate Slammer, Powell Punch and of course right now, they could be having a special on the Osama two shots and a splash of water, of course I like mine with a side of bacon. 

The next time they start talking about closing Gitmo don’t just say no say Casino!